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Engagement: An
engagement period before the wedding was considered good manners, but it
wasn't a legal requirement. An engagement ring was usual, when
affordable. This ring was worn on the third finger of the left hand, as
it is today, because the ancient Romans believed that a nerve ran from
this finger directly to the heart! The ancient Romans invented the use
of rings as tokens of friendship and engagement.
Dowries: A
woman brought into her marriage what goods her family could supply, or
goods she could supply herself. The bride's family might provide slaves,
clothing, jewels, furniture. These belongings became the property of her
husband.
Wedding
Preparations: On the night before her
wedding day, the bride-to-be gave her bulla (her birth locket) to her
father, and gave her toys away to her family. She tried on her wedding
dress, which was straight tunic, woven in one piece, which had to be
long enough to reach her feet.
On the morning of her wedding day, the
bride was dressed by her mother. The most important part of her wedding
dress was a belt, tied around her waist in the "knot of
Hercules". (Hercules was the guardian of wedded life.) Only the
husband could untie this knot. Over her tunic wedding dress, the bride
worn a flame colored veil. The veil was topped with a wreath of flowers,
which the bride had to gather herself.
The Wedding
Ceremony: Only the three acts of
expressing consent were necessary. Everything else varied. The actual
ceremony was held usually at the bride's father house, with guests
present.
There had to be witnesses to the ceremony
to make it legal, typically at least ten witnesses. The bride and groom
would stand before a priest, hold hands. The bride had agreed to the
wedding by appearing in public holding hands with her future
husband.
Once again, the bride had to consent to
the marriage during the wedding ceremony, this time by saying words of
consent in public. These words were a chant, and were the same words for
all brides and grooms. The bride would say: "Quando tu Gaius,
ego Gaia." (When-and where-you are Gaius, I then-and there-am
Gaia.) This chant may have been chosen for the lucky meaning of the
name.
After the words of consent, the bride and
groom sat on stools, facing the alter. An offering was made to the god
Jupiter, which usually consisted of cake. Once the priest had made the
offering, this cake was eaten by the bride and groom. Then followed
congratulations by the guests.
Wedding Dinner:
After the actual wedding ceremony,
there was usually a dinner at the bride's house or possibly the groom's.
Dinner was ended by passing out pieces of wedding cake, as it often is
today.
Bridal
Procession: After the dinner party, the
bride was escorted to her husband's house. This ceremony was essential
to the validity of the marriage, so it could not be omitted. Anyone
could join the procession, and many people did, just for fun.
In the evening, torchbearers and flute
players appear at the bride's father's house. The mother held her
daughter, and the groom took his bride with a pretend show of force from
her mother's arms. Then, everyone and anyone paraded over to the groom's
house. On the way, nuts were thrown, rather like we throw rice today.
Arrival at her
new home: In front of the open door,
the bride once more recited the consent chant. Then the bride was
carried over the threshold by her new husband, and the doors were closed
against the general crowd. Invited guests, however, could enter.
In the fireplace, wood was laid ready for
a fire. The bride lit this wood with her "marriage" torch, a
special torch that had been carried in front of her during the
procession. The torch was then blown out, and tossed among the guests,
who scrambled for it, like a bride's flower bouquet is today.
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