ANCIENT ROME Thomas, Greatest Lawyer in all of Greece & The Newly Conquered Rome A delightfully zany (and totally fictional!) story by Thomas, a 6th-grader from Glen Burnie, Maryland, USA Once upon a time in ancient Gaul, the three latins were sitting on a po and wearing togas. Some artisan Etruscans came to visit the great republic of Gaul, many legates that went by the popes side. It was a weird day, bums in raggy togas, my estate infested with bugs, but most importantly, what happened to me, greatest lawyer in all Greece and Rome! My name is Thomas, greatest lawyer in all of Greece and Rome. Today, I am off to court, defending some weird guy named Cupid who claims he can fly. Let me tell you how my day started. I woke up, and the public baths were not flowing due to some segregation act. So I took a cold bath in the local pond. I then discovered someone had stolen my toga. I swore to prosecute them even though I'm a "dream team" defense lawyer. So walking home, covered by only a hemlock bush, I saw the three latins, and was entranced for a bit until I remembered I was half naked. When I got home, my wife said the stupid flu epidemic had started, as was foretold by some weird guy. So I told her not to worry and that if she continues to be a christian some great fire might break out and some loony king will blame it upon you christians. Snorting and walking away, nose held high, I sighed. What a day I thought...that was just the beginning! While walking to the court an Etruscan robber came up to me and drew a dagger on me, but luckily a Spartan passing by saved me. I warned him to tell his kids and grand kids that the Goths might destroy Sparta all together. Continuing on, I found myself facing a really quite pathetically made bridge. Oh, what a day. I started crossing and it started to break! Startled, I ran across the rest of the way before it fell. Well, I thought, better than what poor old Socrates had happen to him. Poor old chap, I thought. When I got to the courtroom, I discovered the trial was over with the "sudden assassination" of Freddy The Great, who I was to defend tomorrow. Pathetic, I thought, and went back home. Drenched in sweat and smelling terrible, I went back to the public baths which were now fixed. I went for a swim and then watched gladiators beat each other up in the circus maximus. Pretty amazing day, one wife and kid, Christian, Spartans, the 3 Latins, Etruscans, broken bridges, and being half naked. Later, I was safe at home. Slouching on the bed and calling for slaves, I got a good turkey dinner. When I went to bed, there were some bar brawls. Nothing major, just another day as Thomas of Argos, greatest lawyer of all Greece, Rome, Europe, Persia, Gaul. That's what happens once upon a day with so many zany characters. This probably happened, sometime in the last 5.4 billion years. Written by Thomas, a 6th-grader from Glen Burnie, Maryland, USA (Our thanks to this wonderful writer for his delightful, tongue-in-cheek story! Before you ask, no! - amongst other things, Greece never conquered Rome! ) Return to Ancient Rome Daily Life       All Rights Reserved Counter start date January 2006 Clip Art Credit: Phillip Martin Have a great year!